what's a good title for Wednesday?

Today… was pathetic. Let me correct that, Today… I was pathetic. That sounded more correct. Anyways, I feel so much better today, especially after clearing out some of my stress, but that was only after school (where was it when I needed it the most?). Wednesday was definitely not my day though. GAHHH…. Very long story… but I’ll highlight some of them anyway. It’s for my sake afterall. It always makes me feel better and feel less strained. =]]]

I didn’t like how I acted this morning. I found it really unnecessary and a bit of nuisance. But, I did it anyway, because I couldn’t help it. Like that made sense. I pretty much attracted attention, and earned stares because I was crying. But let’s not get into that… I failed my Chemistry worksheet today… due to the fact that 1) I copied the wrong numbers, but, my answers were correct, and 2) Mr. S decided that even if my answers were right, he’ll count them wrong because I miswritten my numbers wrong. That, I found aggravating, and very unfair. So I ripped the paper in front of the class. They didn’t care. That should have told them something. I also took a quiz (kind of) in AP Language today, about the philosophical essay we just read. Which, by the way, I had trouble reading for it was very complex, and too high for my standard. I was falling asleep between pages. In the quiz she wanted us to write a “college level” analytical and philosophical response to the quotes that were given. It made my head spin… it made everything worse. But, there’s nothing more worse compare to Medical Modules. I hate that class. I despise that class. I completely want to pull my hair, whenever I’m in that class. Why did I take the class? I didn’t have a choice. It was because a) to please 7174, because she absolutely wanted me to take part in the medical field, and b) one of my best friends were there. She joined the class because she heard that her old time crush would be there. Ironically, we learned that he moved to a different hour that ours, the hour before ours actually. Which definitely sucked, because the whole reason for my reason why I was there was not there. Get it? Yeah…. But for short, I have a vocabulary quiz today, about Cardiac stuff. But because I find myself unprepared and the quiz difficult, I skipped it and did not take it. I’ll take it tomorrow though.

I spoke to him on the phone today, after school. We haven’t been speaking for the last couple of days… and I found that a real complex situation. For myself, at least. I learned that he was busy due to the usual mastermind for creating stress to adolescence like me, school. That was understandable. I’ve been busy lately too, and I am only glad I find the time to write this post. I need to do something for myself, to help me get over him. I’m glad he understood my whole situation. It was definitely reassuring. However… it was difficult to tell him, how I could not possibly just eliminate him from my mind, the way he wanted me to. I am hurting, yes… but at the same time, because I do like him a lot, I’d be happy to obey what he wanted me to do. It’s what will make us feel better.

I deeply long for our previous friendship. Where we could talk just about anything, and laugh at everything. My carefree moments with him, and the jokes that brightens the atmosphere, would always make everything feel better. At least, I was not having difficulties at how I feel toward him then. OH SCREW HORMONES! They injure me in the most painful way by making me fall for a guy. Needless to say, someone it is impossible to like me back, and one of my best friends. That’s beside the case, I was being honest when I said I do not care if he likes me or not. I just wanted his presence and his company.

I will keep on working on what I promised my self. To forget about him. However, if at some point, I failed to do so… I guess I’ll be doomed? I am not entirely sure what would happen to me. I only hope for the best for the both of us….

No, I did not buy that nasty flavored water today. I still have that Water Lime in the room, and I didn’t want to spend money on such nasty stuff. But I was curious on the other drinks. Maybe I should get one tomorrow.

I took some photos in school today using the school's camera. I'm really enjoying myself with photography. =] It sucks though since I wasn't able to get much. But some works, I guess.

This is the inside of the "restricted" Tech Office.

But I am special so I'm allowed to be in.

I have the key so I usually hang out in here. =]

That is one of the hallways, outside the Tech Office.

This was yesterday. I didn't drive so I rode the bus instead. =]

I have a special seat in the back too. =X

That is the back of school, I took it while passing by.

Salut!

monday was my happy day... but...

For the past couple of weeks, I've been experiencing some odd feelings and emotions toward one of my good friends. I didn’t know what it was, but it was definitely different. Keeping them only to my self made everything worse. My chest either felt like it was going to burst, or a big rock dropped on it. I was down and anxious when he was not around. When he was… I wanted to hide, and go somewhere where he could not see me. I was deeply bothered, and unable to concentrate. I ignored him many times when I see him, which was very unusual of me. I began to worry about our friendship. By ignoring him, I was destroying it. What was I suppose to do? I felt this deep… feelings toward him, and it didn’t fit. It felt so right… but at the same time… it wasn’t okay. Because I was dumb and naïve, I told him about these feelings I began to feel. Everything was so messed up… but I made… things… more complex for my self.

Then it struck me… I like him. How do I react to that? How do I deal with that? I didn’t know what to do. He makes me happy just by talking to me… and being with me, but I know… that’s only about it. He doesn’t like me… and I have no intention of having him liking me. Liking him…. and letting me like him… was enough. I just want him to let me… be.

He told me… that I’ll forget about it. Why did that hurt so much? I was losing it, I couldn’t hold my tears from my eyes. He was the first guy I’ve actually like… haha… who was I kidding? This was why it was not okay. He doesn’t like it. I knew I should have kept it… it would have save me from all of these… pain. I like him…

I like him a lot.

I was not thinking of relationship when I confessed my feelings, I was only thinking of my self, and the fact that I want to feel better by letting things out of my chest. He said it was okay… that everything will be alright. He wanted to help me… help me feel better. To be specific, he wanted me to forget about him. How could I? I seldomly think of what was in front of me, because he would snatch my mind, and I’d completely absorbed. It just completely destroyed me… when he said that I should just forget about it. However, in the back of my mind… I know it’s what I should do.

Haha… life… I could never understand what it means. Soo, that is what I decided. Life must go on. =]

Tuesday was Mardi Gras and Chelsea's Birthday. I bought her the simple book called "Baby Mouse," it's really interesting actually. We didn't have a party or anything. We decided we'll just do something when we finally moved, since we are so busy with clearing up the house. Not to mention, school and work as well.

BTW, I just bought the most... distasteful water I've ever drank. But I drank half of it anyway because otherwise I'll be thirsty. I really don't recommend it. It's bitter... however, i can't deny that I got used to it after a while. =] but, it's still disgusting.

Bulba was glaring at it.

Warm in the Afternoon

Wow, this is my third post today. Well, the more there are the better anyway. =] I played around with Chelsea's camera today too again. I don't have my own since I don't have the money to buy some. If I do, I'd probably use it to buy mangas, and if I earned some, I'd definitely use the money for an iTouch. So... basically, it'll be a while untill I do get my own. I took some photos in between "labor work." But here are some of the photos that I liked. I'm not very good at photography, and I don't really know how to adjust the camera to my liking to get a better image. Of course, these are no way near professional's. But I wish to have some really nice photographs one day. =] I think I can be a novelist and a photographer at the same time. Just the matter of getting the job done. I'll try to edit these photos in photoshop sometimes... when I find the time. Lately, I've been tormenting my mind with stuff I shouldn't be thinking about. But I can't help it you know, I'm just like every other girl. Anyway, to the end, here are the photos. I've got to wake up early tomorrow and drive Rodney to school. YAY for me! =]

Sunday = Busy Day

We worked on our house all day today. And yes, I am beat. =]
But, in between work, I managed to take some photos using Chelsea's camera. I really think I need those professional ones. They do come in handy at times. The photos are really random, some of them were taken by Chelsea. =]

This is the house we were selling. On the first day of showing, it was immediately sold. It was incredible! That means we didn't have to work harder than we already are on fixing some stuff in the house. Yay for me!

Everyweek, we've got these whole stash of trash piled on top of each other from cleaning the house. Sometimes, not all of them are taken by the helpful waste collectors, because we've got soo many, and we just throw in rubbishly. So I decided to do something about it. Chelsea put it up for me. =]


"PLEASE TAKE US AWAY. Thank you."

Yep, all the boxes full of stuff. Tita did most of it though

Those were the woods waiting to be trashed. So much work.

YEAHH!!! WOODS!!!!

Tita works hard a lot

Rodney smashed the bricks, and yelled at me for taking random pictures afterwards


We got so many woods, we decided to give them to Mr. Romeo, my grandma's friend.

We passed by the park.

No, we did not take the way to Omaha


Princess came with us, and she looked so bored.

Way to home

So that was my day. I haven't have time to hang out with my friends lately. I wish once we finally moved I'll be able to, more often.=] YAY!

A Night in Ameristar in Iowa

We were invited to go to a birthday celebration by one of our family friends last night. It was held in Ameristar, you know, a casino and hotel. I took some photos, not really well since I'm not use to the camera I used.