My Spring Break...so far. =]

So here’s what has been going on lately. I didn’t include any annoying house work, and my stupid cousin. I’d like to keep this cleeeeeean.

A month ago… I planned to study for the upcoming ACT. However, I was either too busy or loved procrastinating, or I'm just freaking lazy.. that I crammed the night before the test (The test was April 4) That literally made everything worse… I knew I shouldn’t have crammed that night, but I wanted to get at least some review, or practice. My WHOLE PLAN OF STUDYING WAS POINTLESS. I planned to study like at least 30-an hour everyday before the test, but no, I only studied for like 20 minutes within that month. I won’t be surprise when I get lower than 25…. I was literally falling asleep during the test, and I guessed like ½ of it…. I felt sick after… I brought this on my self…. Well… hopefully I didn’t do too bad.

Also, FINALLY GOT A NEW BED, after sleeping on the floor for about a month. It feelsss so nice. Lali! My theme is Nature-ish Under the Moon. No, that doesn’t make sense. Haha! Sounds so cheesy too. Let’s just say it’s Danielle’s theme. Woo! Works better. I still got a lot of mess on my desk… and hopefully, I can find a place to put them away.

Gave my guitar a niceeee tattoo. I’m so creative. Lol like how I self-praise?? Yeah.. I’m lame. Haha

I decided to post sticky notes on my wall because I’m weird like that. This photo was a week ago… it expanded somehow.. hoho!(ps. The cow one was Chelsea’s. X] Cows are cool, just not obsessed with them)

GOT MY PROM DRESS!!!! LALI!! Hehe, it’s really nice too. Pssst… a secret to tell you… the original price was 200+ but I only paid 6% of it. Hehe. I was thrilled!! lalala~~

Tuesday, I hung out with Alex in Village Pointe. That was really niiiiccceeeee. X] I’m always in a blissful mood when I’m with him. Surprise surprise??? Nahhhhh hehe. I love hanging out with him. Learned something about him that day, ahem ahem, quoting him: “Everything has to be perfect.” (He was talking about the Macs when he said that. X]) One thing I like about him, is that he has goals, and he will keep on reaching for it until he’s there. He’s a hard worker, I know that, and I’m really proud of him and what he had accomplished over the past year or so. One thing for sure, I’ll always be there for him, for help, for support, for company, anytime he needs someone, and so on . =]

Glittered with Allie, Wednesday. It was for Prom Committee. Wow, well, usually, glittering a card would take us half an hour. But then, we decided to time ourselves and see how fast we could go. The Aces were finished before I even got to help out with it, the Queen was the one I helped her out with and didn’t find the “fast” method sooner, So it was the King and the Jack cards we timed to glitter. Haha, well, For the King, our first record was 3:40, which was a definite record since it took us about half an hour on most of them, then the second record went to 3:24, then 3:10, 3:09. That was only for the King, the first record for the Jack was over our first record, which was like 4+ minutes. Then the rest went from 3:50, 3:06, 2:42, 2:09, then 1:51. Woo!! I didn’t have pictures, but I’ll make sure to take some photos during prom. But a minute and 51 seconds??? Wow, that was great!!!

Today, hung out with Chrissy, since the last time we hung out was last year… wait, that doesn’t even count because it’s for our AP Gov. project… It has been a while.. WAYYYY back in October... or so. I need to find time to hang out with Leanna this week. HAVE TO.

I shaved my dog today too… ahhhhhh I failed at life!! Well, 7174 helped me. Hoho! But she now looks like grammy wolf… with the stupid dress. (Chelsea let her wore it). But she looks like a big squirrel, or a fox without it.. Most likely fitting rather than that loose dress she’s wearing. Lame. But I let her wear it, because I’m nice, and I don’t want her to be cold.

Princess….. is like the weirdest…. Princess ever?? Yeah… but I love her. Hehe

Food is the next big thing to her after nap. =]

I FOUND OLD LETTERS. Haha, they were from my old friends back in the Philippines. Reading them again made me feel nostalgic. I do miss them a lot. Well, I guess, personal handwritten letters are more significant than e-mails, because they were made just for you, and the writer took time to write to you. That’s why these letters are so important to me. These are just pieces of letters from some of them. Sometimes…they’re just too funny!!!

Since I went in the basement to take a photo of my dress, I got this shot. Yeah, the house is improving. Woo!! I’ll take more photos sometimes, once we’re all set.

Lately, I’ve been having problems searching for hairstyle/haircut ideas… I wanna have a new one… well, I’m thinking of having a mullet, but my hair is too short for it, or might not look suitable for me. I’m still looking around for good hairstyles. So if you know any websites for nice modern hairstyles (LOL) please help me out. XP *puppy eyes* Here are what I thought so far… If you have any suggestions, you can share!!! So long as you don’t tell me to SHAVE MY HEAD! Lol I heard that a lot, specially from the tech guys. Master Waldo knows… or so. Haha ><

Do you still remember my dogs… when they were…. This??

…now they’re this…… fluffiness…. Gone!

LOL Princess’ face looks like she’s threatening. Ahaha “FEED ME OR ELSE!!”

P.S.

Photoshop-ed some of the images. You'll see the differences. =]]

HAPPY WEEK!

So… I haven’t posted in a while. I was planning on posting earlier this week, but time got the better of me. So many things happened, and it’s definitely incredible. In translation: for once I’m enjoying life! =DD ~~

Okay, here’s a recap on the past weeks. Haha, really, it would have been more exciting if I wrote a post on each day. I probably would have told the whole story! But this is pretty long too... I guess. =]

Thursday – 031209
I was asked to prom!! Guess who?? The guy I unexpectedly fell for, and conflicted over my feelings for some weeks, and made me decided I should forget all about him, but then made it more impossible for me to forget him, because he asked me to prom. His name is Alex. =]](So where did all of those troubles I had over the course of time our friendship was down? Just washed away. XP) That night, I believe we talked in Facebook until midnight, and talking made us closer. =]

Friday – 031309
It was Friday the thirteenth, and Pi day. This day was definitely special. No, bad luck did not fall on me, but much more on the happiness side. Haha. Alex said we could be more than friends, and does not mind it at all. OHHH HappyLand!! Nooope, I’m not high at all. LOL I was also excited for the next day, because it would be our first date! hehe

Saturday - 031409
Saturday was incredibly fun! I was with Alex at 1:30pm to 4pm. It was a short time for us, but it was absolutely worth it. I drove to his house, and left my car there while I rode with him. =] We originally planned to go to a water park near his home, but then we thought 2h30m would not be enough for us, but we went anyway, haha. First thing first, since we didn’t have swimsuits, because he outgrew his, and mine is packed somewhere, we had to go and buy them. Soooo KOHL’S was our first stop! Well, I was really glad I brought enough money with me because I ended up spending $52 for swimsuits. Haha! At first I thought it would be easy to find them, and get some, then leave. But gosh… who would have thought it would be the opposite? I became more frantic when he came over and check on me. Well, I tried to hide it, but I ended up telling him to wait for me somewhere while I chose what to buy… He gave me 10 minutes to choose. Eventually, I was able to pick some. They weren't that bad.. but it was something I usually don't wear.

I was still fidgety throughout our way to the water park. Specially when I was in the changing room. GAH! Well… after a while I got used to it. I told myself to enjoy, and not to fret about anything else. I was with him. That was all that mattered.

I certainly had a great time with him even if it was only for 2h30m. We both wanted to prolong our time together but it was impossible at that day. So we decided that since the next Friday is our off from school, we’ll go back and spend more time together.

So we are officially dating. =]

Sunday – 031509
I had a work day at home, packing up whatever there was to pack. I also did some of my homework, which took me great effort because my concentration was almost… nil… when it came to what was I suppose to be doing. I really couldn’t blame 7170 for getting ticked off, because I wasn’t paying attention much. That night, I talked to Alex more in Facebook. That was the only satisfying I did that Sunday. =]

Monday – 031609
It was really nice seeing him again. He walked me to my French class that morning. The sad thing is that we don’t have any classes together, and we hardly see each other during the day. I do see him in some of my passing periods, but our classes are like opposite of each other. If I have class on the second floor, he has his on the first floor, or vise versa, and it goes on. The only time we could actually talk and walk together is during before school, after lunch, and after school. If we do see each other in passing periods, we don’t really have time to stop and talk, so we just wave or greet each other. =]

After school, I usually wait for Rodney to be done with track until 5:30pm, or at times it goes until 6pm. So I have 2-2h30m to kill in school. However, Alex and Leanna, my bestfriend, stayed after school that Monday, so we hung out. I spent most of my time with Alex that afternoon, because Leanna decided to be considerate (I think) and took her time searching for a specific food from the vending machines all over the school. It took her about 40 minutes, =] and when she did come back, she got her food, and her “target” partner-to-be for prom. It was totally coincidental, so I thought it was cute, but funny at the same time.

I was so glad the complications and awkwardness about… everything was over. =] Now, I’m happy!!

Tuesday – 031709
Nah, I didn’t drive to school, so I couldn’t stay after school with Alex or Leanna, but I did talk to Alex in Facebook until midnight. =] I’m not going to deny that I love talking to him… (and hanging out with him).

Wednesday – 031809
After school, I spent the first (about) 40 minutes with Alex, Natalie, and Rachel. That was fun!! I had a lot of fun. However, when will I get used to Rachel’s perverted-ness? I’ve been friends with her since 8th grade, and I still have a hard time applying to my mind that Rachel has her “special” moments… and she DOESN’T hesitate telling me anything about it. Maybe because she never really showed her inner self until last year… or so. I usually just tune her out, but at times, they’re just too sharp, they burst my invisible shield. I usually end up cringing at the words… gah…

Natalie is always fun to be with. She’s really funny! She dragged Alex’s 300 pound backpack to the girl’s restroom while he was drinking from the water fountain. LOL I thought that was funny! Well before that, Rachel threw my keys inside the guy’s restroom, and Alex, who I thought would be helpful, added in my backpack. Luckily, there was nobody around to witness my 2 feet adventure in the male’s restroom. Not that it was something very exciting to go into. I would like to avoid that as much as possible, thank you very much.

I was supposed to meet Leanna in the band room, but I wasn’t sure if I wanted to go in there alone, since I am not part of band whatsoever. So she came and met us in the hallway playing around, remembering me, and my helplessness without her with my AP Language quiz. =] I love her. After Natalie left, Alex and I hung out, alone. Leanna, had a quiz or test to study for. But, I got the feeling, she didn’t want to interfere. She smiled at me mischievously after she left. Hm…

Thursday – 031909
A very special day. And definitely one of the days I would always remember. =] I really do love being with him. There are so many things I want to say to him… but sometimes, I just can’t bring myself to do so. But I guess… sometimes… he knows what they are, as I sometimes do as well.

Friday – 032009
Our second date! As we planned, we wanted to go back to the water park, because we found it very enjoyable and we wanted more time together. I was allowed to spend 5 hours in there. However… I told 7174 that I was with a group instead of him alone. I know… I should be honest to them, but I just… don’t want to let any of these go. Because I know, that once I told them about our relationship, it would be over, and needless to say it’ll give me a whole lot of hell to worry about. (Not only that I had to stop my relationship with him, but also the fact that I was dishonest, and distrustful… please to the Heaven, don’t let them stumble to this blog…) However… to be honest, I’m not guilty as I know I should be, because Alex is the only one who makes me happy, and I’m not going to end that just because of their expectations toward me. Happiness always runs away from me, and now that it halted, I’m not going to turn my back from it; I’m going to keep on holding on to it. I want to be with him for as long as he wants me to…

I was supposed to meet him at noon, so I had some time to do stuff around the house that morning. So, I decided to give my dogs a bath… because it has been months since they’d been clean and fresh, and they love sleeping with me, or chilling with me in the room whenever they’re bored. I just couldn’t stand the smell anymore. Well… along the way, after Phoebe’s annoying pleas from the water… I held the scissors to cut Princess’ coat… and ended up cutting her skin instead of her tangles… I felt so bad, I wanted to cry! However, she only yelped once and then stared at me… she looked at me in a what-have-you-done?! way, then resumed looking bored…. I wasn’t sure if she was okay or not. If she was not… I couldn’t tell. But I was glad she was not bleeding hard. Phew! Since I injured Princess, I decided to give her a bath the next day or so when her wound is better. I felt so scared!

Spending time with Alex is what I want to do! Friday was GREAT!!! Lol, we got in trouble towards the end though, and I broke one of our ‘rules’… yeah… I should have known better. GAH! But, I’m really glad it wasn’t a big deal to him. But I was worried when he was quite and seems like he was thinking hard… Later, it turned out to be just something we shouldn’t be bothering ourselves too much about. =] but, we do still have to be careful. I’m really glad.

7174 was suppose to take me somewhere to go dress shopping after she picked me up at 4:25, but I kinda felt bad because she hasn’t gotten any sleep since that night before. She worked at 10 at night until 6 in the morning, and she didn’t sleep that morning at all, then she went with Chelsea and Rodney for some kind of shopping. So I didn’t want to keep her exhausted. We’ll just go when we can.

Saturday – 032109
GAH! THE EXHAUSTING DAY!!! Rodney was gone all day for track, and so Chelsea and I were left to help out with all the boxing, carrying the boxes from all over the place to the garage, digging out some plants, carrying those plants to the front, shoveling, raking, and driving to the store, and so on. I was ridiculously drained! In between breaks, I called Alex. Haha, that’s what I pretty much do actually with my breaks… that night, I fell asleep right away, and I didn’t wake up until quarter to 9 this morning. Which is usually pretty late for me because everyone in this house are early risers… 7170 wakes up at 6 during the weekends, and at about between 7-8 he makes weird noises to wake us up. I can’t help pulling my hair. It’s really annoying.

Sunday - 032209
First, we went walking to our nearby park. I end up chasing after the dogs, because we were trying to train them follow us without their leash, but they abused their temporary freedom. Sometimes they’re good at following, but at times they love being chased. After staying in the park for about 40 minutes, 7170 decided that he wanted to go walking in the Duck Park… well, we got there, without the dogs, and walked around the area. It’s pretty sad… there were no ducks at all. Well, I blame it all to the weather. So we spent about 1h30m or I think almost 2h… in there. I’m sorry but really… I’m not having fun with all of those what they call “family bonding.” Not when I always feel so indifferent… especially with this family. That’s why I only rely on myself. I CAN’T WAIT TO BE EIGHTEEN!!

When we got home I got about 1h free time. I ate, and then called Alex. However, he had to go somewhere so I didn’t talk to him that much. So, I decided I’ll call Leanna and chit chat for a little bit, because she has that Forte thing that was going on. (So sorry, I couldn’t go! *bows*) When she left, I called Chrissy next, because I was WAY TOO BORED. Turned out, she wasn’t home. I kept on scrolling on my contacts and stumbled on Andrew’s number, so I called him. Haha! He didn’t know my number so he was like “Who’s this? Are you sure you got the right number?” Dang! I could have totally messed around with him! Something like, I kidnapped your dog, give me your money. LOL! But I was too nice. He had to go too, because of Forte, so I didn’t talk to him that much. There was nobody else to talk to… so I just resumed giving Princess a bath from two days before. Luckily, that turned out well, but it took me like 3 hours to fix her! Her hair was just too messy and so many tangles, I had to keep on cutting her hair. I was slow and careful this time too, because I was afraid I’d cut her skin again. Fortunately, I didn’t. YaY! Also, I still feel bad I couldn’t go to Forte. =[

I’m really horrible at fixing the dogs… so I pretty much just ruined Princess fur… so I asked help from 7174. =]

So that was my week. It made it all less tiring when I got to talk to Alex in Facebook tonight. =] I’m just soo happy!! This Friday we’ll be moving to our new house! I’ll be living in Alex’s neighborhood and I’m really EXCITED! I get my own room (YaY! PRIVACY! FINALLY!). Also, I’m getting off that Friday, to actually “not” carry out boxes or anything like that, but follow around men from DirectTV because apparently nobody else can do it. My grandma could not understand English when spoken at a normal speed whatsoever. It has to be slow and clean diction! Haha… well… that’ll be fun. Hoho!

Loving This Week!

I love this week, and I’m only wishing for it to never end. I’ve been in a really good mood lately, and it’s all because my worries were washed away by simple happiness. There are so many things I wanted to say to him, but could not explain it in words. All I could say is
I’m Happy
I found these images, and they somewhat reflect my feelings. =]

what's a good title for Wednesday?

Today… was pathetic. Let me correct that, Today… I was pathetic. That sounded more correct. Anyways, I feel so much better today, especially after clearing out some of my stress, but that was only after school (where was it when I needed it the most?). Wednesday was definitely not my day though. GAHHH…. Very long story… but I’ll highlight some of them anyway. It’s for my sake afterall. It always makes me feel better and feel less strained. =]]]

I didn’t like how I acted this morning. I found it really unnecessary and a bit of nuisance. But, I did it anyway, because I couldn’t help it. Like that made sense. I pretty much attracted attention, and earned stares because I was crying. But let’s not get into that… I failed my Chemistry worksheet today… due to the fact that 1) I copied the wrong numbers, but, my answers were correct, and 2) Mr. S decided that even if my answers were right, he’ll count them wrong because I miswritten my numbers wrong. That, I found aggravating, and very unfair. So I ripped the paper in front of the class. They didn’t care. That should have told them something. I also took a quiz (kind of) in AP Language today, about the philosophical essay we just read. Which, by the way, I had trouble reading for it was very complex, and too high for my standard. I was falling asleep between pages. In the quiz she wanted us to write a “college level” analytical and philosophical response to the quotes that were given. It made my head spin… it made everything worse. But, there’s nothing more worse compare to Medical Modules. I hate that class. I despise that class. I completely want to pull my hair, whenever I’m in that class. Why did I take the class? I didn’t have a choice. It was because a) to please 7174, because she absolutely wanted me to take part in the medical field, and b) one of my best friends were there. She joined the class because she heard that her old time crush would be there. Ironically, we learned that he moved to a different hour that ours, the hour before ours actually. Which definitely sucked, because the whole reason for my reason why I was there was not there. Get it? Yeah…. But for short, I have a vocabulary quiz today, about Cardiac stuff. But because I find myself unprepared and the quiz difficult, I skipped it and did not take it. I’ll take it tomorrow though.

I spoke to him on the phone today, after school. We haven’t been speaking for the last couple of days… and I found that a real complex situation. For myself, at least. I learned that he was busy due to the usual mastermind for creating stress to adolescence like me, school. That was understandable. I’ve been busy lately too, and I am only glad I find the time to write this post. I need to do something for myself, to help me get over him. I’m glad he understood my whole situation. It was definitely reassuring. However… it was difficult to tell him, how I could not possibly just eliminate him from my mind, the way he wanted me to. I am hurting, yes… but at the same time, because I do like him a lot, I’d be happy to obey what he wanted me to do. It’s what will make us feel better.

I deeply long for our previous friendship. Where we could talk just about anything, and laugh at everything. My carefree moments with him, and the jokes that brightens the atmosphere, would always make everything feel better. At least, I was not having difficulties at how I feel toward him then. OH SCREW HORMONES! They injure me in the most painful way by making me fall for a guy. Needless to say, someone it is impossible to like me back, and one of my best friends. That’s beside the case, I was being honest when I said I do not care if he likes me or not. I just wanted his presence and his company.

I will keep on working on what I promised my self. To forget about him. However, if at some point, I failed to do so… I guess I’ll be doomed? I am not entirely sure what would happen to me. I only hope for the best for the both of us….

No, I did not buy that nasty flavored water today. I still have that Water Lime in the room, and I didn’t want to spend money on such nasty stuff. But I was curious on the other drinks. Maybe I should get one tomorrow.

I took some photos in school today using the school's camera. I'm really enjoying myself with photography. =] It sucks though since I wasn't able to get much. But some works, I guess.

This is the inside of the "restricted" Tech Office.

But I am special so I'm allowed to be in.

I have the key so I usually hang out in here. =]

That is one of the hallways, outside the Tech Office.

This was yesterday. I didn't drive so I rode the bus instead. =]

I have a special seat in the back too. =X

That is the back of school, I took it while passing by.

Salut!

monday was my happy day... but...

For the past couple of weeks, I've been experiencing some odd feelings and emotions toward one of my good friends. I didn’t know what it was, but it was definitely different. Keeping them only to my self made everything worse. My chest either felt like it was going to burst, or a big rock dropped on it. I was down and anxious when he was not around. When he was… I wanted to hide, and go somewhere where he could not see me. I was deeply bothered, and unable to concentrate. I ignored him many times when I see him, which was very unusual of me. I began to worry about our friendship. By ignoring him, I was destroying it. What was I suppose to do? I felt this deep… feelings toward him, and it didn’t fit. It felt so right… but at the same time… it wasn’t okay. Because I was dumb and naïve, I told him about these feelings I began to feel. Everything was so messed up… but I made… things… more complex for my self.

Then it struck me… I like him. How do I react to that? How do I deal with that? I didn’t know what to do. He makes me happy just by talking to me… and being with me, but I know… that’s only about it. He doesn’t like me… and I have no intention of having him liking me. Liking him…. and letting me like him… was enough. I just want him to let me… be.

He told me… that I’ll forget about it. Why did that hurt so much? I was losing it, I couldn’t hold my tears from my eyes. He was the first guy I’ve actually like… haha… who was I kidding? This was why it was not okay. He doesn’t like it. I knew I should have kept it… it would have save me from all of these… pain. I like him…

I like him a lot.

I was not thinking of relationship when I confessed my feelings, I was only thinking of my self, and the fact that I want to feel better by letting things out of my chest. He said it was okay… that everything will be alright. He wanted to help me… help me feel better. To be specific, he wanted me to forget about him. How could I? I seldomly think of what was in front of me, because he would snatch my mind, and I’d completely absorbed. It just completely destroyed me… when he said that I should just forget about it. However, in the back of my mind… I know it’s what I should do.

Haha… life… I could never understand what it means. Soo, that is what I decided. Life must go on. =]

Tuesday was Mardi Gras and Chelsea's Birthday. I bought her the simple book called "Baby Mouse," it's really interesting actually. We didn't have a party or anything. We decided we'll just do something when we finally moved, since we are so busy with clearing up the house. Not to mention, school and work as well.

BTW, I just bought the most... distasteful water I've ever drank. But I drank half of it anyway because otherwise I'll be thirsty. I really don't recommend it. It's bitter... however, i can't deny that I got used to it after a while. =] but, it's still disgusting.

Bulba was glaring at it.

Blog Changes

As you can see, this blog changed dramatically over the past week. I decided that I’ll actually start blogging once again, after neglecting it for over a half year. It is a way to connect with people I guess. =] and I have nothing else better to do when no one is screaming commands in my ears.

Anyhoo, I want to thank Gisele Jaquenod for the wonderful template. This is so much better than the regular html. She also put great care on making them as well. Thank you, can’t get any better. =]

I have difficulties making my own template. I’m still trying to figure out how to work them out, and I make immense error all the time, which frustrate me. Right now, I am procrastinating…. Because I’m suppose to be editing my Chapter II of Noir Knights (The undecided Novel) and I’m still here stuck writing this blog post…. I’m horrible I know.

I want to thank Bloggers for providing an amazing blog for people like me to enjoy. It is great.

Tonight, I’ll be attending a family birthday celebration in a buffet (one of those prestigious restaurant, apparently, it’s not Chinese or any Asian buffet anyway.) I don’t feel like going… but I have to anyway, or else…. Woshp there’s the glare from 7170. It happens. That’s why I have to be submissive. OHMAGAWD!!!!! I CAN’T WAIT TILL I’M FINALLY 18!!!!!!!!!!!! It’ll be sooo much reassuring then…. A have a year and some months left anyway before I finish HS. Wow, it seems like it was just yesterday when I attended the first day of my freshman year.

Oh …. I trailed off from the subject, but who cares. I’ll be finishing up Chapter II of my project… I’ll be posting Chapter I as well when I find it appealing to others. Meaning, I need some feedback from friends, and from others so it’ll help me determine how to write better. And of course, to please people. =] yay!!!

BTW, my Saturday has been very boring. Due to our moving process, I’ve been enforced to pack everything. We’ll be moving in some days now (the countdown is in the right panel) My Friday was not great…. And I only hope for Saturday to get better…. Or maybe Sunday. =]

Things that get me in trouble

So lately, I’ve been constantly getting in trouble, at least once or twice a day. I think I attract misfortune more than luck. What the heck, I don’t even believe in luck. I guess, it’s just the way it is. Life has nothing better to do but to mess me up… or the vice versa.

Since 7170 (That’s a name, [actually, an honorific] not a year, coded from recognition) been giving me poop about everything. I decided I’ll write them down, and remind myself that those are the things that get me in trouble. =] It is a good start.

1. Speaking in English and not in our native language
2. According to 7170, I’m speaking too fast. Never thought of it, because others perfectly understand me.
3. Too clumsy. I’ve got to slow down, or be more attentive, because I’ve been dropping stuff a lot lately.
4. Reading too much
5. Always alone in the room – (I do reading and homework)
6. Using the internet (and his laptop)
7. Defending myself
8. Forgetting to do a chore
9. Having a reverie – not able to hear what he’s talking about
10. Playing with dogs with “childish” voice
11. Blank emotion means glaring
12. Not putting the dogs in their bed
13. My tone of voice is too mean

So that’s what I got for list. For now, at least. I’m sorry, but I can’t just bring myself to just smile, laugh it off like how 7174 (honorific) laugh it off, like it was okay. It is not okay.
I’ll just have to keep my head on those, and reasons I’ve chosen not to talk to him at all. Everything I do, and say are not worth anything considerable except for rudeness, and just aggravate him.

Learn to calm down… calm down… calm down….

Unanswered

Today is Friday, I was told today that Friday equals good day. Apparently, it hasn't been as good as I wanted it to be. However, I expected it, but I still remain hopefull that things would be better than I want it to be. Lately, I've been having these weird feelings and emotions about something I don't even understand. I find it hard to believe that I am having trouble figuring out what was happening to me. I suddenly became.... distant to my self. Nothing like this ever bothered me before. So unfamiliar.... and, somewhat unsettled.

Today... was not entirely bad... but not good, or great either. It was.... in the midst of fine, alright, and okay. It's really awful having to feel this way, specially when I don't know what it is. It worries me so much.... it's scary.

I thought at first, there must be something wrong with me. But, aparently, I've been convinced that there's not, and it was totally normal. I really dislike it when I don't know everything.

I'm only wishful for one thing: Make everything okay... (Please)

20 minutes to write this post

So here's lunch. Well, I don't expect to write much today, since I have a swollen hand (because of the door. It was my fault in the first place.), and it is now wrapped. I went in to the nurse yesterday, during my 6th hour class, for a bag of ice. The next thing I knew, they wouldn't let me go back to class, and insisted on wrapping my right hand, plus call my Tita. It sucks because 1) I can't write properly, 2) it hurts, 3) can't type faster than usual, 4) it makes me look like an idiot whenever people ask my what happened, 5) can't eat properly, 6) I have to hide it from my vicious Tito, 8) it's utterly useless, and 9) its wrapped, meaning, it is bound to attract unwanted attention.

I've also learned about the movie "Zeitgeist" (I think that's how you spell it) One of the Metro professor that teaches programming in my school showed me the movie's intro. It is very interesting. Lately... it has been giving me all these doubts about everything. Maybe, if I watch it complete, I'll find some answers out of it. Well, that's what he said (Note that I always trust him, because he's a real smart man) I hope to watch it soon.

It's very windy outside, and driving with this kind of weather actually freaks me out. IT MOVES MY CAR! That's not good. I want to keep my record clean... hopefully I can keep that up. I have the tendency to mess everything up. I do. That's what I've been working on lately. I was called "clumsy" by Tito. Wow. Believe it or not, I never realized it. Not at all. Well, I guess I owe him that one. But still, it's not nice to constantly get mad, and then scorn, when someone could not get things right.

Tonight I'll be writing about "gay marriages" for my AP Language Class. It is definitely interesting. I will not post any of what I'll write in here, because it's very confidential. I don't want to offend people.

That'll be bad.

Long... Time... No... See....

It has been months since I've actually posted here. School got in the way (You know, the usual weapon pointed at students [no, not guns] just to get our butts off and actually do something about our lives. Apparently, I'm not one of those people who ignores the school's mandatory commands. [I'm a good student] Which I practically... considered my self without life, because of that. It's not that bad. =])

So, I decided I'll start writing whenever I actually have time to spare. School lunch in particular, which I am in at the moment (While listening to Muse's Supermassive Black Hole. Don't you get enough Twilight already? Aparently, not for me.) I've been doing a project lately. However, once in a while, I put it on hold due to the process of moving out of our current home, and have to clean up all those... icky... dusty corners. IT'S GREAT! I'M HAVING A BLAST! not. It's better than taking all those dog's waste from the backyard. They're EVERYWHERE specially this winter. They get burried... and get really wet, when the snow melts. Yes, like I said, school has been keeping me busy lately, not that I mind. Are you kidding me? It keeps me from doing anything with my life? It's great! not.

I've got 8 minutes to finish this. Who wants to do a countdown? Not me.
So here's what I did and what I've BEEN TRYING to do lately.

I created a pen name for myself. I am now called Closed Zero (by myself). It's still pathetic, but hopefully people will recognize me with that name. I know sounds like a male but I'm not! Get used to it. Jordan, Andy, Kenneth, and whatever boys name out there (Actually, I learned that Bobbie is a girl's name) are used for females anyway. How does it make any difference for myself? (I've just been hit with a key strap from one of my TitanTech buds while writing this. Can I get a little respect?)

I planned to write a novel. Called it Noir Knights for now. I really don't know.. if I'll change it. Hopefully something better. Creativity is not my forte. It just comes to me. Planning sucks.

Well, my 8 minutes turned to 1.
Here's what I've got in stack for now. Hope this will become a regular thing. =]

Salut!!!!

About Closed

Real Name: Danielle Palafox

Pen Name: Closed Zero

Age: Well…. I have experience only 10% of Life.

Gender: The F!!Location: I’m currently living with Hero Jaejoong…. Okay you wouldn’t actually believe that.

Likes: My Friends, Writing, Nice people, Cute Koreans, books…., mangas, anime, games, photoshop, music, images, tennis, Hero Jeajoong, my dogs, blah blah….. and so on and so forth.

Dislikes: oh M.E.!!!! don’t mind that. Well I don’t really know… I guess you can say I don’t get along with rude people. Just don’t be rude to me and we’ll get along well!!